On avoiding change...
And the gift that resides on the other side
Change is natural, it’s everywhere we look.
Physics shows us that energy is always in motion.
Chaos gravitates to order, and order towards chaos.
Furthermore, energy cannot be destroyed - only transformed.
Knowing all of this, humans have a funny social habit of fighting tooth and nail to avoid change.
We might be the only animal in the world that resists our own nature to such an insane extent.
And at the root of this resistance is the fortification of our identities (who we think we are).
We spend much of our energy, resources and time becoming a ‘someone’.
A someone who does something, so that we can feel special, safe & important.
The Yogi’s mapped this process beautifully…
They talk about there being five stages of ego (identity) development:
Forgetfulness; we forget that we are a part of the whole - a part of nature.
A sense of ‘I’; we develop an individual and separated sense of self.
Likes & dislikes; we define that individuality with likes and dislikes.
Grouping together; we fortify that sense of self by finding other ‘I’s’ with similar likes/dislikes.
Defending at all costs; we defend our group ideologies for fear of the identity not being real.
If you apply this model to any political, social or collective issue, you’ll likely find it fits.
All wars are fought between groups who believe their likes and dislikes are more virtuous than the others.
But what does this have to do with your personal and individual relationship to change?
Well, if you are strongly attached to who you think you are… you are likely very resistant to change.
And if you’re resistant to change, at some point life is going to force its nature upon you and change will barrel through the front door and bewilder you all the way down to your core (e.g. forced initiation via illness/break-up/breakdown/etc).
So then, how might a man know if he’s attached to his identity and avoiding change?
Here are three tell tale signs;
You take offence easily &/or have strong opinions (and you’re good at defending your opinions)
You lack an authentic connection to your emotions (often pointed out to you by other people)
Deep down you are bored with your life and want something to change (even though it might look good to the outside eye)
If any of these signs ring true for you, there’s really only one question that matters…
Who are you?
Are you an idea that needs defining and defending?
Or, are you something far more grand than that?
Because maybe, just maybe, you are life itself.
Maybe, you’re a once in a lifetime expression of something eternal, and you have the gift of being aware of that.
Or better yet, you’re life bottled up into a form we call human, with the one mission to express that fully.
Just like a flower, its sole purpose in life is to blossom.
Are you committed to seeing yourself blossom?
Are you living in alignment with that sole purpose? And are you on that mission?
Getting caught in the idea of who we are is often the greatest obstacles for a man to live an excellent life.
Rumi said it best…
“Run from what’s comfortable. Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious. I have tried prudent planning long enough. From now on I’ll be mad.”
And what I hear him simply saying is…
Be YOU. Embrace change. Go for it.
Trusting you in your wildness and inviting you into your excellence,
Ryan
Fantastic and eloquent as always